If you are just joining us for this series, I introduced a book that takes you through a 30 day time period of encouraging your husband. Using the publication below from "Revive Our Hearts Ministries", I am chronicling my progress for you. It's kind of like you're reading my diary as I go through each day!
Check out my results for days 1 - 21 here:
Today I will be sharing my results for days 22-24.
If you decide that this is something worthwhile for you and your man, go through these 30 days as a kind of experiment to see what happens in your relationship.
It is online for free!
(The link is simply all 30 challenges in one place. An easy thing to print off and hide in your own journal while you go through it)!
Day 22
Challenge:
Focus today on how you represent your husband in your home, your church, and your community. In this challenge to encourage, ask: "If all my family and friends knew about my husband came from a filter of what I've said about him, what would they think of my husband?" Do you need to change the filter? Do you talk positively about your husband to others . . . or do you complain and criticize?
Your speech should reflect 1 Cor. 13 love. Your words should be kind, and should never "rejoice in iniquity" (v. 6). Refrain from listing your husband's faults to others. Satan likes to trick us in this area—be wary of sharing barbed "prayer requests." Remember, "Love will cover a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8b). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a "good word" for your spouse.
Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others. Some of what you say may come back to him—and you want your words to be sweet, building him up and never tearing him down.
Don't forget: you are always criticizing—or encouraging—before an audience. God hears your conversations when you are alone with your husband in your own home. May your speech be always seasoned with grace.
Action: I spoke positively about my husband today to others in the following ways:
1) I wrote about him on my blog (of course)
2) I told Papa about something nice Jesse had done for me
3) I expressed to my friends at my bible study how much I have been enjoying Jesse and the fruits of this challenge.
Results: Jesse looks great in public. People know that I like him a lot. Enough said!
Day 23
Challenge: Does the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" seem like hard work? Or is it becoming a pleasant exercise in genuine Christ-likeness in your home? You are only scratching the surface of ways to encourage your mate. Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise. Affirm him for one or more of these traits that you see in him.
Some men have not developed these qualities because they are naturally more spontaneous. You can praise his spontaneity! Perhaps God has called you alongside to help him with disciplines he has not yet developed - but this does not include nagging. You can keep him organized.
Whatever the need, you can be your husband's cheerleader, encouraging him when he wants to give up.
Action: I would definitely put my husband in the more "spontaneous" column versus the "organized column. This isn't a bad thing; we are all wired differently. It is only bad if I make it a bad thing.
When we were first married I was annoyed at my husband's lack of organization. Why couldn't he just put things where they belonged instead of letting them pile up until he had to spend 3 hours going through a massive pile of junk? Why didn't he have the same drive as me to find a place for everything? Why couldn't he be more like me?
Of course, I realized over time what a silly series of questions those were. He couldn't do those things because he was not wired that way. The two of us can compliment each other when each of us possesses different strengths, not when we are both good at the exact same few things. In fact, if that were the case, then we would have some serious problems running our household!
I have shifted into and embraced my role in our marriage. Part of my role includes organization, knowing where the car keys are, paying the bills on time, remembering to bring things that Jesse would forget, etc. I am helping Jesse to be able to focus on all of the things he does well including working hard and ministering to other people around us. Me taking care of "smaller stuff" communicates to Jesse that I value what he has to spend his time doing and allows us more time together for fun instead of household tasks.
Results: Things just run better when we both "do our jobs" well. There is order in the home (for the most part) and everyone is just happier!
Day 24
Challenge:
Children can be quite a challenge to the marriage relationship. A wise wife will support her husband's leadership in the home as much as possible, and will praise him for his fathering skills. Negativity makes a man feel like a failure, and may make him to want to give up.
Does your husband discipline your children wisely? Does he show them love and encourage them? Does he take an interest in their activities and dreams? Does he spend time with them? Does he take part in developing their character? Praise him for these important life skills.
If you don't have children—is your husband positive and encouraging around other people's children? Let him know that you have noticed. If your husband does not experience positive relationships with children, you will need to figure out why. Perhaps he had negative experiences as a child with his own parents, and needs to learn how to respond. Perhaps you can lovingly and patiently show him how to parent—while still maintaining his authority in the home.
Action: At the risk of sounding like I'm bragging about what a great dad Jesse is, I'm going to tell you that Jesse is a great dad. Today he danced around the room with our 3 year old, he cuddled with our one year old, and he taught the 3 year old about what it means to listen and obey your parents. He is not scared to teach the girls about complicated things, and he does so in a way that they understand. He really excels at this.
After seeing Jesse playing, teaching, and dancing today, I sent him the following text: "You amaze me more and more every day".
Results: He didn't ask me about what I meant with the text, probably because he knew that I had seen him doing all of this great fatherly stuff today. The more affirmation he gets about being a great dad, the more he wants to do. Cool how that works, isn't it?
Stay tuned for days 25, 26, and 27 of the challenge on Monday! Happy Weekend!
We will be taking a week off this week from our Drab to Fab linky party in an effort to finish up the “30 days” series.
If you stopped by today, please save those awesome ideas for next Friday! Remember, you can always submit both OLD and NEW to D2F!
