What I learned from the "30 days".

For the past 30 days, I have chronicled my journey through the daily husband encouragement challenges created by "Revive Our Hearts Ministries".

If you've missed the series, check out the results for each of the 30 days here:

This little journal was what I used to record my daily actions and their results:

However, if you decide that this is something worthwhile for you and your man, go through these 30 days as a kind of experiment to see what happens in your relationship.

  It is online for free! 

Here is your virtual copy of the book!  

(The link is simply all 30 challenges in one place.  An easy thing to print off and hide in your own journal while you go through it)! 

Today I will be sharing with you some of the "behind the scenes" information about my journey through these 30 days, as well as some tips if you'd like to try this with your husband.

Tips for optimum results:

1) Keep it a secret!  Hubs cannot know that you are doing the challenge.  If he does, then he may call into question every nice thing you do or say.  Furthermore, he may just chalk up all of your kindness to the fact that you have to do it for the sake of the challenge, not because you really mean it!

2) 30 days doesn't have to be 30 days.  What I mean is that you don't need to do this in 30 consecutive days in order to do it at all.  If you miss a day here and there, nobody will know but you, and there is no harm done.  Just pick it up again tomorrow.

3) Don't have predetermined results in mind.  You must not go into the challenge in order to get your husband to praise you more, to work harder for you around the house, or to have any kind of outcome that you've decided he should have.  Let him respond in whatever way(s) he will.  Some days you will not notice any tangible results from what you've done.  That is okay.  You aren't doing it for what you can get out of it, you are doing it for him.  Keep that in mind.

4)  Don't quit.  If the challenge doesn't go how you wanted it to go, you couldn't think of an action for one of the days of the challenge, or you blow it completely and have a fight during the 30 days, don't quit.  This isn't an ALL or NOTHING deal.  Keep going.  When I messed up along the way, I decided to be even more intentional in the following days so as not to spiral down or quit it all together.  

5)  Record what happens somewhere.  I recorded my daily results in a journal, then I blogged about it.  In all honesty, (as you might have guessed), the fact that I was going to blog about it gave me a lot more motivation to stay on track with recording my results.  Write down not only what you do and what your husband does (if anything), also write how you feel while doing this.  Is your heart changing a little bit?  Are you having other ideas on how to bless or encourage your husband that aren't outlined in the challenge?  Write it down!

6)  Aim for some accountability.  Tell a friend what you are doing.  Blog about it.  Do it with your girls small group.  Keep yourself accountable to continue the 30 days all the way through.  It's much easier to stay on track if you have an obligation to fill someone in on your progress.  In my case I began with being accountable to my best friend Amanda, but half way through the challenge I shifted to the blog as the way to let her know my progress (she's a reader) :)

Tidbits you didn't know:

I have owned this book for quite a long time and actually attempted to do the 30 day challenge before.  Unfortunately, Jesse found out I was doing it on day 2 or 3, so I had to quit.

Jesse didn't find out that I was doing the 30 day challenge this time until the very end.  He saw it up on my blog when I was on the last day.  He was cool with it!  Once he saw it, he read through the whole thing.  I think seeing in all of those posts how much I love him was kind of awesome for him.  Yes, he is definitely cool with the whole thing!

What I learned from this:

I have learned that focusing on the great qualities of my husband really does give me new eyes for him.  I enjoy him and appreciate him more.  The variety of daily challenges allowed me to consider all of the different things I have to appreciate about him.  I feel a profound sense of gratitude that he is my husband.  I'd highly recommend this challenge to anyone, whether you're "feeling the love" right now or not.  It has really become a lifestyle for me as I have gotten used to being positive to and about my husband.  I would say that makes it all worth it!

Thanks for reading this series!

Rolled Up Pretty