30 Days of Encouraging Your Husband Series | Days 10-12

If you are just joining us for this series, I introduced a book that takes you through a 30 day time period of encouraging your husband. I've already shared my results for days 1 through 3 , days 4 though 6 and days 7 through 9.  Today I will be sharing my results for days 10 through 12.

 

If you decide that this is something worthwhile for you and your man, go through these 30 days as a kind of experiment to see what happens in your relationship.

  It is online for free! 

Here is your virtual copy of the book! 

Day 10

Challenge:  Don't say anything negative to or about your husband - to him or to anyone else.

We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we're not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"

Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else?

Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!

Action:   I admire Jesse for his confidence, his intelligence, his kindness . . . and I love his eyes!  He has been working out lately and has built some pretty impressive muscles.  He has been flexing for me to kind of show off his progress, and I really play it up by getting a big smile on my face and saying, “Yeah, you are hot stuff” or something along that line.

I came in from running an errand today and he was sitting on the couch working on the computer wearing my favorite outfit for guys: a white t-shirt and jeans.  He was very handsome and I said immediately to him, “You’re looking cute”.

Results: Obviously the affirmation of his great big muscles made him happy and more proud of himself than if I would have shown no reaction.  The most direct result of today’s challenge, though, was him blurting out this evening, “Amy, you are beautiful”, almost in a way that sounded like he thought it and couldn’t contain it at that moment!  What goes around comes around today!

Day 11

Challenge:  Don't say anything negative to or about your husband - to him or to anyone else.

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.

Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.

If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . ."as to the Lord."

Action:   Today was a Sunday, so we went to church.  As we were walking into church I grabbed the side of his arm, almost like he was my escort and I was the lady on his arm.  I think that small but subtle gesture can send a message that the man is the man and you are his woman, if you know what I mean.  I leaned my head onto his shoulder in church as well, which is another one of those subtle moves that (in my opinion) says, “You are my rock”.  Finally, to show Jesse respect I caught myself in a conversation with some friends right before I was going to jump in and interrupt Jesse and tell a story for him.  It was a fun story, which is why we both began to tell it at once, but I allowed him the fun of doing it instead of me.

Results:  After the touchy-feely actions on my part, Jesse reached out and held my hand today several times.   This is something we used to do a lot when we were dating, but not so much anymore.  I loved it just as much as I did back in our dating months!

Day 12

Challenge:  Don't say anything negative to or about your husband - to him or to anyone else.

Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?

Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.

How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.

Action:   The level of thankfulness I have in my heart towards my husband is growing more every day of this challenge.  These actions I’m doing to follow along force me to dwell and act upon the appreciation I have inside.  The more you think and act on it, the more it grows.

First I thanked Jesse for watching the girls at home four out of five weeknights this week.  It was a sacrifice for him to do that, and it was just because I had a really busy week.  I said yes to too many activities and he was gracious enough to have my back.  I told him I really, really appreciated it.

Second, the two of us got to have a cool talk in which we reflected together upon what a great thing we have going.  We both are so blessed to have each other as a spouse, and we know it.  Some days this hits home harder than others.  For me, it hits when I am reminded of hardships, strains, or struggles that we could be facing but are not right now.  Don’t get me wrong, we both have things about our life we would change if we could, but we know that God has been very gracious to us in ways we never deserved.  That deep sense of appreciation for our life together welled up in me today, and, upon expressing it to him, Jesse fully agreed.

Results:  We both ended this day with a profound sense of gratitude in our hearts to God for each other and for the life we are living together.  Jesse was also very affectionate with me this entire day.

You might be thinking to yourself that this challenge seems to be all roses and butterflies.  It’s going too well, you think?  Well, I’m telling you right now that you are wrong!  I blew it big time on one of the days coming up soon.  You just keep reading.

Stay tuned for days 13, 14, and 15 of the challenge tomorrow.

And, hey, between you and me, I'm on day 27 of the challenge now, and he doesn't know I'm doing it.  So if you know Jesse in real life, please DON'T ask him about this.  If he knows, then results will be tainted / ruined / epic fail.  So thanks.